Sunday, August 7, 2011

The runs

NO. No. No. Not those kind of runs. An actual, physical, get up and go run. Geez!!

I have this fantasy image in my head that I am a runner. Like a real athletic type runner whose similar to Micheal Johnson, the Olympic champion. Only. I'm white, female and I've never won any races. Anyway, these thought often lifts my spirits and ego a bit therefore I often sign up for various races around town in the hopes that someday my true self will shine through.

The last race (13.1 miles) was on Kiawah Island in South Carolina.

It was one of those a freezing cold, miserable rain, mess days. At mile marker 2 someone knocked me off my footing and I landed in a huge puddle therefore having to run the 11 point 1 miles with soaking.wet and watered down feet. By mile marker 9 all I wanted was my Mother and a diet coke. At the end I was tired, cold, hungry, irritated and very relieved to spot my proud smiling husband under an umbrella ready to greet me at the finish line. I literally fell into his arms, cried myself a river of tears, and then threw up all over his shoes!! After that I swore that I would never run again! EVER.

Fast forward to a few months ago when spring sprung and I started doing my cocky little I'm a runner dance and signed up for not one. Not two. But four. yes. Four different races. The truth. I eat Oreo cookies and potato chips. I love my Mother's Chocolate Carolina cake and my sisters homemade fudge and often hide in a dark corner eating all of it all by myself.

But since the mind is often forgetful tool when remembering pain I signed up for a few races. A 1/2 marathon here in town with the delight of being able to run with my sister. Then somehow it came up that someday the kids would like to go to Walt Disney World.  I thought it would be a great opportunity if I could find a way to race at Disney in 2012 because it's an even year and I like even numbers. Don't ask.

As I started doing research and talking to people - low and behold - I found a 1/2 marathon and a full! Wa- la! Perfect. Then dilemma strikes, which one? Hmmm. I know! I'll do ALL of them!! Perfect. Payments made and exciting thoughts come to mind thinking about running a 1/2 with my husband and creating one of those great husband/wife bonding moments. And because I am so smart and a Micheal-Johnson-wanna-be-white-girl-athlete! I decided to run.both races. The 1/2 (13.1) on Saturday and the full (26.2) on Sunday.  yeah.  

What the blankety-blank was I thinking?!? Reality check. I am not a lean mean running machine. I have no plan. I'm not even sure where to look except maybe ask Mr. Google and everyone knows he gives way to many options.  I'm the gal that often takes all the options. If someone says do you want cake or ice cream I answer YES.  Basically, at this moment. It's August and I only have a few months of training.  I am in a state of panic and want to swear like a sailor has never sworn before!! I want to use expletives that not even a hard core criminal would think of using while in the company of a Priest whom he just made a full confession.

Oh, and to top it off there's no such thing as refunds in races. Sooo. Now what? (help)

1 comment:

Lisa said...

Okay, wait a minute. . . YOUR NOT Micheal-Johnson???